Well, I finally lost my mind. It's been nice knowing all of you.

"themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles" (themanwithsauce) 03/06/2014 at 11:47 • Filed to: Keep Oppo Weird, WTF, Funny, Speed Racer, Please help me

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I decided to peruse the eBay classifieds one final time for reals before my FiST comes in. I then made a terrifyingly hilarious discovery. I found a car that represents.....Speed Racer. Specifically Speed's classic "OOHHH!" exclamation frame that they used to save on the animation budget. Can I get a shot of that face?

Yeah, that's the one!

So then this realization snowballed into a Speed Racer-esque exchange between this car and one of its rivals. And then I just sort of snapped. I'm so sorry. But now maybe someone else will join me in insanity.

And if you have never seen the original speed racer cartoons, go to hell. Or just go watch them. This will make zero sense if you don't read it like the english dub was delivered - Still frames, rapid pace, and full dialogues delivered as one giant run-on sentence.

"I am the golf GTI and as the GTI I need to be the best hot hatch for if I am not the best hot hatch then my rivals will beat me in the race and if I lose in the race then my high price tag will look foolish and if I look foolish then it makes all VWs look foolish and if all VWs look foolish then I am in trouble for I too am a VW so I must evolve and get better to be the best hot hatch but being th best takes money that VW doesn't have but they need to spend the money to make me the best hot hatch for if I am not the best then they won't get the money they need to let me be the best hot hatch!"

"Ha ha GTI! You have been foolish as you will no longer be the best hot hatch because I have come back as your old nemesis to challenge you to be the best hot hatch because I am the one who makes the VWs look foolish and while you need more money to make your more money I was given lots of money so when I come back I will be the best hot hatch again and then make you look foolish like I did before because I am the opponent you thought was dead - THE TYPE R!"

"OOOAAAAHHHHH!"

Brian Silvestro > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 03/06/2014 at 11:54

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My mind is full of fuck.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Brian Silvestro 03/06/2014 at 11:55

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Perfect.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 03/06/2014 at 12:03

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Car representing Chim-Chim or I want my money back.

JawzX2, Boost Addict. 1.6t, 2.7tt, 4.2t > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 03/06/2014 at 12:13

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win!

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 03/06/2014 at 12:19

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Fiat Jolly, duh!

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 03/06/2014 at 12:21

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Well played.

feather-throttle-not-hair > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 03/06/2014 at 12:49

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The only episode of speed racer i ever watched involved the bad guys stealing speed racer's monkey and then giving said monkey drugs so that it would would drive around in circles incredibly quickly.

About ten years later I was living in China. At some point i left beijing for a tropical vacation in the southernmost part of China. One of the attractions there was a "monkey park" where they had lots of monkeys jumping around, swimming and generally causing a ruckus. They also had various monkey shows. One of which involved (i think) giving a monkey a bunch of drugs and then (definitely) having him drive around in a tiny car in circles stupid fast.

My mind was blown. Speed racer. right there. in the (monkey) flesh. Amazing.

Dusty Ventures > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 03/06/2014 at 12:49

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It's finally happened, Bart

RotaryLover > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 03/06/2014 at 13:01

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